During a conversation with a friend, something unexpected came up. K, with a hint of hesitation, confessed to having delved into the realm of time travel by conducting some extensive Googling. Amused, I assured them that their curiosity was perfectly normal, and playfully added parallel universes and cloning to our list of intriguing topics. After all, it seems that many others have ventured into these areas of inquiry as well.
Both of us have been grappling with grief, each in our own way. K’s husband, a former colleague of mine from years ago, reentered our lives briefly before his untimely passing. The circumstances surrounding his return are so extraordinary that attempting to explain them fully would likely earn me the label of a mad woman.
Although the wounds are still fresh, with K just surpassing the one-month mark and myself having recently reached the six-month milestone, our perception of time has been forever altered. Tuesday is no longer just a day of the week; it has become a measure of the time that has passed since our worlds were shattered beyond repair—seven months and four days for me.
In the midst of grieving, we find ourselves dabbling in the realm of amateur quantum physics, exploring the myriad of possibilities where our loved ones may exist. Perhaps they are trapped in another universe, one in which they grapple with our death.
When it comes to the concept of time travel, we acknowledge its inherent complexities. If it were possible to achieve, this is how I imagine it. I close my eyes and allow a cherished memory to float through the tapestry of my thoughts—a moment that I can almost vividly recall. It’s a memory of a heated argument we had about his peculiar obsession with never spilling a drop of water while refilling the ice trays in the freezer. He defended his meticulousness, claiming to be a perfectionist. I remember every minute detail—the mischievous grin on his face, the way his hands gripped the freezer door handle, and even the scent that clung to him after a long day at work.
In the depths of grief, we entertain the notion that somehow, through the mysteries of time travel, parallel universes, or even cloning, we might find solace or a way to reunite with those we have lost. It is a realm of speculation and hope that allows us to explore the infinite possibilities of what could be. And perhaps, in embracing these possibilities, we can find a sense of comfort amidst the pain.